But, you know, that old Frank was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, Nate, dear old teammate," the fake Wojo did utter,
in a syrupy voice that was sure to melt butter,
"I've been up watching tape of Duke-UNC games,
"Like the three last year where we put them to shame
"There's a play in this book that I'm dying to use
"After all, to lose I refuse"
"I'll take this book now, to study tonight
"Then I'll bring it back here, before the daylight."
And his fib fooled Nate. Then he patted Nate's head.
And he gave him some gatorade and he sent him to bed.
And as Nate wandered off down the hall,
For good measure the Frank yelled out "BALL! BALL! BALL! BALL!"
It was quarter past dawn . . .
All the crazies, still a bed
All the crazies, still asleep
When he packed up his wagon with his spoils four feet deep.
And he left dear Derek with whistle to blow
"Foul them all out!" he was heard to crow.
15 miles south! He drove without care,
He flew through the Hill to get back to his lair.
"Pooh-pooh to the Dukies!" he was Frank-ish-ly thinking.
"They're finding out now that there'll be no post-game drinking!
"They're just sobering up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open and their heads will nod
"Then all the Dukies down in K-ville will all cry OH MAH GAWD!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Frank,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And the Frank put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound welling up from frat row.
It started in low. Then it started to grow . ..
But the sound wasn't whiny!
Why, this sound sounded cheerful!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS happy! An earfull!
He stared down at K-ville!
The Frank rubbed his eyes!
Then he dropped to his knees!
What he saw was a wondrous surprise!
The Devils drained every shot, ball after ball
They blew out the Tarholes, without any playbook at all!
He HADN'T stopped Duke from winning!
Somehow or other, their drive got it done!
And the Frank, with his frank-toes ice-cold in the street,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "I was sure they would lose!
They won without jockstraps! They won without shoes!
"They won without playbooks, despite fouls galore!
And he puzzled 3 hours, 'til his puzzler was sore (hmmm)
Then the Frank thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Coach K," he thought,"IS an upstanding man.
"Maybe I . . .perhaps . . .could be his number one fan!"
And what happened then . . ?
Well . . . in K-ville they say
That the Frank's small(23) heart
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed back to K-ville, the bonfire he'd light.
And he brought back the playbook, all their sports gear.
He even chipped in with a cheap case of beer.
And he . . .
. . .HE HIMSELF. . .!
with Dicky V in hand, led the first cheer!