How the Frank Stole K-mas
* with apologies to Dr. Seuss *
Down in K-ville
Loved the Blue Devils a lot . . .
But the Frank,
Who lived just South of K-ville
The Frank hated the Devils. The whole Duke b-ball season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his dad hadn't taught him quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that Coach K learned from Knight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
But, Whatever the reason,
His heart or his parents, the loser
He stood there in Carrboro, hating the Boozer.
Staring out from his cave with a sour, Franky frown
At the warm wired tents they had in K-town.
For he knew every krazy down in K-ville over there
Was busy now, hanging posters of K with reverential care.
"And they're hanging their ACC Champions banners!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Soon comes the tourney! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his grinch head practically spinning,
"I must find away to keep them from winning!"
For tomorrow, he knew . . .
. . . C-well with great poise
Would drive right past Driftwood, humiliating his boys.
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's the one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
And then the tarholes, the whole damn team, would sit & pout.
And they'd pout! And they'd pout!
And they POUT! POUT! POUT! in a funk.
As they watched the Shane jam in dunk after dunk.
Which was something about which the Frank couldn't stand to have thunk.
They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Crazy down in K-ville, the tall and the small
Would stand close together, with Dick Vitale near.
They'd stand arms in air, and they'd start to cheer.
And they'd cheer! And they'd cheer!
And they'd cheer for Coach K!
Why in the DeanDome, the crowds never cheered this way.
And the more the Frank thought of the whole Cameron affair,
The more the Frank thought, "It's more than I can bear!"
"Why for 37 years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop Duke from winning! But HOW?"